patience and surrender

A nonfiction short story by Kyle Westerman

When I first started working at New Wave Telecom* it was like an awakening to the entire new way of life. I was so surprised by the spiritual concepts that were flying back and forth. “Don’t take things personally.” “Don’t assume.” “Have empathy.” “Have fun.” “Be present.” It was like everything I studied was being revealed, showing me that all I had assumed about sales was wrong. It appealed to my vision of a world connected with better technology, and quality content like you see on Showtime and HBO.

Eventually though disaster struck. After the first year there was a slow decline. As I started learning about the inside of the company I work for I began to see so many things I felt were unethical. Whether it was employees lying to sell, ancient overly complex systems, or company policy that took advantage of customers, I felt completely disillusioned. The worst part was that I did my best to be a part of the change for this company but all my efforts fell on deaf ears. The only response I got often was that we can’t control it, so rather than get upset we should let go, and make the best of the situation.

Eventually voicing my concerns became a reason for chagrin among my co-workers and management who just took it all as complaining. Defeated, I continued to deal with the archaic systems, unethical representatives, and upper levels of management’s complete lack of accountability. If there was a problem it seemed like it was because one of us is not doing something correctly. Even though we have tens of thousands of employees of different backgrounds and skills. “You’re doing too many adjustments”, rather than saying, “Our ordering systems are inept and we need to improve them to prevent billing problems. Here are the best ways we can make the situation better with our current system.” Or better yet, “Here the improvements we are planning and beginning to make.” Unfortunately it took the company into nearly having its stock spiral to zero, and losing thousands of customers before management even decided to take a look.

The day did come however and things began looking up. Despite all the improvements that I had seen I realized that ultimately I could never be happy there long term. I became much happier in the sense that I realized that New Wave* will never be the company that I want to be so I stopped focusing my strength in futile efforts. It did give me a better vision of what I see for the future. I took classes in business and marketing and studied the works of some of the masters and saw that sales can really be about empathy and helping others. It can be about having enough self-worth to realize that our voice means something and that it’s our responsibility to get our voice out there so it can help the people who dying to hear it.

Patience is about understanding that not everything is gonna happen the way that we want it to, in the time we want it to. Wisdom is understanding that there is a reason for this. Sometimes we are simply not ready to understand what we need to take the next step in our life’s evolution. As we evolve uncanny perspectives become clear to us. Ways that we could choose to see the world and our life that will profoundly transform it. Sometimes we have to have the wisdom to understand that things take place at the right time when everything aligns and not when our ego selfishly desires to bolster itself using goals and timelines. To feel worthy. To feel good enough.

Patience may feel like death to the spiritual warrior. However the only thing that is in danger of dying is our own egotistic worldview. This is why I talk so much about surrender in my practice. When people think surrender they think raise the white flag. They think “okay I give up.” To me that isn’t surrender. Surrender means giving over to your true nature. The warrior within you that wants to move through fear. To experience more. The curious child that wants to learn and sees the world as full of wonder and opportunity. It is an abandoning of the cynicism and our personal dogma and beginning of a practical skepticism and open heart. Surrender is letting your higher self take the wheel, your “inner Buddha”, “the Tao”, “the Force”, whatever you want to call it, and being willing to flow with it.  With your innate nature. Your inner talents and strengths. To eventually release your resistance and to accept the truth, moving on to the next realization. To radically do self inventory on where we are spending our energy and learning to create something new. So in that way surrender isn’t giving up, Surrender is a letting go of limitations. It is allowing. And when we allow the universe to move through us…. Magic happens.

Kyle Westerman is a fiction and non fiction writer, and creator of the Inner Story Coaching program. He teaches meditation and techniques to free us from limiting thoughts and beliefs. He lives with his three roommates, four cats, a dog, and a rabbit in the Old New England whaling town of New London. All his work can be found at StorieswithKW.com

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